My terrible/amazing joke

Show me a man who raises mute ducks for a living and I'll show you a man whose priorities are all out of quack.

Dr. Pepper

I went to Quiznos today. Got some food to bring back to the apartment. When I got back it was such a beautiful day that I figured I'd eat out on the balcony. Pretty good idea, right? Wrong. I set my Dr. Pepper on the railing to sit down (I took a couple sips on the way back and was REALLY looking forward to drinking the rest of it) but when I sat I bumped the railing with my feet and the Dr. Pepper fell to the ground splattering everywhere. *sigh* I didn't know what to do with myself. It hit me a lot harder than you'd think. I sat there for a good minute just staring at the ground imagining a perfect world where that Dr. Pepper was still in my hand and I was enjoying every sip of it. I couldn't bare being outside anymore. So I sulked inside and stole some of my roommates milk.

...I'm still kinda sad.

Probably a poem or something.

This is probably a poem or something,
I don't know what else to call it.
Perhaps a "rhyming arrangement",
and I'm pretty sure it's not a sonnet.

It's a pretty fun thing,
to sit and write a poem.
I don't have to show it to the public,
but I feel like I owe 'em.

I'm not sure how long this will be,
I gotta keep coming up with rhymes.
And that's something,
that I can't do too many times.

But it's not like it's rocket science,
just pick a word like "door".
And before you know it,
you're rhyming it with "floor".

This is a sad excuse for a poem,
it has no flow or theme.
If a real poet ever read it,
he'd probably just scream.

But that's okay,
does it look like I care?
Well, I guess I do,
but not that much.

(Yeah, I know. That last one didn't rhyme. Just use your imagination.)

Frisbee Play!

Gatorade.

I saw a Gatorade commercial recently that very much disturbed me, and before I tell you what it was I would like to begin with saying this:

When you think of people drinking Gatorade what sports do you think of? Think back on every Gatorade commercial you have ever seen. What do they show? I'll tell you. They show hockey players, volleyball players, runners, tennis players, soccer players, FOOTBALL PLAYERS, BASEBALL PLAYERS!!! Ever seen any golfers in a gatorade commercial? NO! Never! But then a couple nights ago I see this commercial:



Not only is it a commercial with a golfer in it, IT'S A COMMERCIAL SHOWING THAT TIGER WOODS HAS HIS OWN GATORADE NOW! What?! WHAT?! I...I don't even know what to say. And here's what's funny. They knew it'd be too boring to show Tiger just playing golf and drinking Gatorade so what did they do? They put him on the MOON! HA!

Cookie Eat!

I haven't done one of these in a while.

Some day they will make me famous.

Goodbye 19

Today is the last day I'll be a teenager. Yikes. YIKES!

That's all I'm gonna write at the moment.

Maybe you'll see me later.

*Cracks knuckles*

And now it's time for a little story. *Jesse rolls up his sleeves*

Long ago there was a king with three beautiful daughters. *Jesse takes a sip of pop* Everyone agreed that their smiles were brighter than the sun. *Jesse eats a couple of Doritos and wipes his hand on his jeans* Now, even with all the kings wealth and land he loved nothing more than his daughters and would do anything for them. *Pop spills on keyboard, Jesse tries to clean it up* OIne daty, tyhe yoiungest daughtyer was styriocken wiotyh a seriooius iolness. *Jesse tries to make the keys stop sticking together* iooioiauestyeyastotsyeaosyttytytytytyyttyioiioioioziofayayuiaruiofyaiyidattguas *Jesse calls it a lost cause and storms out of his room*

Sam Beam

I'm going to see Iron & Wine perform in about an hour. I'm pretty dang stoked. Woo!

I. You?

Here is another cloud picture. I like. You like?

Picshas

Here are a bunch of random pictures I tweaked on in Photoshop today. Enjoy!

The following sentence means absolutely nothing. Absolutely.

Triangular Ancestry goes back to the bottlenecked substance of derogatory issues pertaining to the mix of white and yellow.

I ain't lion!

K, check it out. Last night I dreamt that I was back in Minnesota and had a pet LION! Holy crap, it was sweet. And this was one of those dreams that you SWEAR was not a dream but actually happening. It was SO cool. He was just like a dog and hung out with me and everything. I remember the dream started with me just sitting in the sun room with the lion by my side. I was just sitting there like everything was normal when I realized, that's a lion! That's MY lion! I have a pet lion! Oh man, you should have been there.


Waking up was sad because I realized that I didn't have a pet lion.







This pretty much sums up the dream. Minus the random shot of that dude with no shirt on.

Recent News

Here are the most important news bulletins in my life at the moment:

-I will probably get to sleep in tommorow.

- I get to see Iron & Wine on the 15th here in Wheaton! That alone will make spending a year here worth it.

-I like Mug Root Beer

-THE GIANTS WON THE SUPERBOWL AND I AM HAPPY ABOUT THAT! BUT ALSO I KINDA FEEL BAD BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE RANDY MOSS WIN A SUPERBOWL RING! HE DESERVES ONE! HE'S VERY TALENTED! BUT WATCHING ELI MANNING RECEIVE THE MVP AWARD WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT! WOOO! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S GONNA GET REALLY OLD CHEERING FOR SOME RANDOM TEAM EVERY SUPERBOWL BECAUSE THE VIKINGS NEVER MAKE IT! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST WIN GAMES??!?!?!?!?!?!

-I will now stop writing in Caps Lock

-I watched the movie "Rear Window" today and REALLY enjoyed. Alot. James Stewart is da man.

EDIT

-After I posted this I watched "Rope". ANOTHER Hitchcock movie with Jimmy Stewart in it. Also VERY good. Woo!

The Man

Not much else to say

I'm back with a Haiku

I was gone for a few weeks

But now I am back

Keep checking my blog you dork

HaiKOOL!

Heather's Christmas Haiku:

The Vikings lost, I did see

Before Christmas Eve

Who needs football? Christ recieve.



Jesse's Christmas Haiku:

Presents all in a bundle

No one to receive

Everyone is still sleeping



Heather's #2 (Not Haiku)

I have no Bethany:

I have no Bethany to sing along,

A very very happy Christmas song.

I have no Bethany to bring me joy,

So I talk to brothers, boy.

I have no Bethany to bring me to a steeple,

Now I will sit and read a People.

Farst to Lazt

And now, a list from A to Z of the first movie that pops into my head that starts with each letter.

-Aristocats
-Batman Begins
-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
-Dumbo
-Equilibrium
-Far and Away
-Gone With the Wind
-How to Marry a Millionaire
-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
-Jurassic Park
-Kill Bill
-Les Quatre Cents Coups
-Moulin Rouge
-Napoleon Dynamite
-Orange County
-Pink Panther, The
-Quigley Down Under
-Rat Race
-Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
-The Three Amigos
-Usual Suspects, The
-V for Vendetta
-War of the Worlds
-X Men
-Young Einstein
-Zeus and Roxanne

Nothing

I hope you're not expecting anything to actually HAPPEN in any of my videos.