Peas look at this

It's not too hard to ap-peas me. At the end of the day all I want is some peas and quite. Also, I drew this. Look at it if you peas. If you don't I'll track you down and give you a peas of my mind.

I really do wonder...

I wonder what the biggest age difference is where the younger person has pooped more times than the older person.


Click picture for full view

Oh, the insanity.

One banana, two banana, three banana, four.
Take them off the shelves and throw them on the floor.
Once you've done this senseless chore,
take off your shoes and run out the door.

Don't look left, don't look right,
unless you want a terrible fright.
Because in your heart you know they might,
come for those bananas in the middle of the night.

Run straight passed your loved one's houses,
see them sit with their children and spouses.
Watch as the man with a garden hose douses,
the mice in his yard, and by mice I mean mouses.

If ever it happens that you trip and you fall,
try not to get scared and curl up in a ball.
Just keep on running, perhaps scale a brick wall,
find a ventilation system and through it try to crawl.

No one will wonder what you are doing,
they're too busy watching the coffee that's brewing.
And like a horse that's in need of a good shoeing,
you ran on passed as the wind is whipping and whooping.

As wise men have said in stories of old,
"Only a fool will get caught in the cold."
You are no fool, you are brave and are bold,
and never let bread get covered in mold.

I'm sure you're wondering, "What's the point of this story?"
"Is he just making up rhymes for the sake of his own glory?"
I assure you I am not, to that I say, "Lordy, Lordy!"
I'm merely wasting time and now I'll retreat to the back fourty.

Hahahaha, I'm funny.

A washed pot never spoils.

P.S. There's no chance that I'm the only who has ever made that up. So if you've heard it before don't go all crazy and start shouting stuff like, "THAT IDIOT! I ONCE HEARD THAT FROM THAT ONE GUY ON THAT ONE TV SHOW! COPYCAT!" Just take a deep breath and say, "Nice try, man. But you're about 10 years too late on that one.

Phobias

I came across this website today: http://www.phobialist.com/ It's a HUGE list of every phobia you could ever imagine. Upon my first scroll through the list I was amazed at how many there were and thought to myself, "Wow, there are LOTS of messed up people out there to make a list this long." Then I actually started reading all of them and honestly believe that over half of them are just made up. Which is unfortunate because it would be absolutely hilarious to meet someone who had some of these phobias. Here are some of my favorites.

Xerophobia- Fear of dryness.
Xanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.
Vestiphobia- Fear of clothing. (Definitely would like to meet that person.)
Thaasophobia- Fear of sitting.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.
Amnesiphobia- Fear of amnesia. (At least if that person actually gets amnesia he won't remember that he's afraid of it.)
Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias. (What the crap is that all about?)
Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words. (Ironically I think that's the longest phobia name.)

That only scratches the surface and I had a great laugh reading through them. What's strange though is many popped up that I related to. Who knew I had so many phobias?

Ergophobia- Fear of work.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed.
Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women.

Oh, and here are a couple I made up. Maybe I could get them on the website.

Gramirfobia- Fear of spelling.
TobiaPhobia- Fear of rhyming.
Havingtostanduptoturnthechannelphobia- Fear of losing the remote.

Room Clean!

OTHER KITTY KAT!

KITTY KAT!

'Nother Picture

Chickens

I wrote a new post REALLY late one night and drew this picture along with it. After looking back on it I decided to just keep the picture.

Who knows.

I drew four pictures of a tree on a hill.

Jasper Reflects 2

Well, I made another one. It's just too much fun.

Ol' Jasper

I made a little video at www.xtranormal.com just to see how it works. Coolest. Thing. Ever.

'08

In honor of the election and politics and freedom and democracy and stuff like that I give you a picture I just found again that I made a couple of years back. Enjoy.

GEESE!

click here to see it on flickr

More pics

Well here are some more pictures. Took these a couple of days ago. They are all very similar but, hey! You know? I like them. Tell me what you think.












There are a couple more at my flickr page here!


YAHOOOOOOOOOO!

Sweatshirt

Today I put on a sweatshirt that I haven't worn in a long time and a couple of beautiful red, fall leaves fell out of the hood. I said to myself, "That's odd, I haven't worn this at all this fall. What a beautiful moment." Upon further inspection I realized they were just regular old leaves from this summer and that my head was bleeding.

Fall

Well it's fall again. To celebrate, here are some standard issue fall pictures that I took yesterday. Except one isn't so "standard issue". I tried something a little different and it didn't quite come out to be what I had hoped. But it's still kinda cool.











Click on the pictures for a better look.

Okay

OKAY! Alright. Here we go. Lets see...ummm...well...uhhh...yeah. Let me start at the beginning. There were two guys. One was tall and one was short. One had two brothers and one had none. They were singing a song and traveled throughout the land. I didn't catch their names, but one started with a Q. If you asked what they looked like I would probably just say, "One was tall and one was short." You see, it was dark, and there was a lot of commotion. All I know is that they wanted to see me. But that never happened. Something distracted me. It was either the German Shepherd eating a can of tuna or the man balancing a sword on one finger. I can't really remember. The next thing I knew I was running down the street shouting, "FINANCE! FINANCE! Someone stole my finance!" I know, I know. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Jesse, do you perhaps mean Fiancee?" But, no. I don't. Someone stole my finance. It wouldn't have been a big deal if I had talked to the two guys. But no one is gonna be talking to them ever again. That is, not since I killed them. UNINTENTIONALLY! My goodness. Don't be so quick to judge. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. You try flying a helicopter sometime. It's A LOT harder than it looks. They kept yelling at me saying, "UP! UP!" And I was just, "I know! HOW?!"
"DA BUDDAN! DA BUDDAN!"
"The button?! WHICH BUTTON?!"
"RAD! RAD!"
"THERE ISN'T A RED BUTTON!"
*CRASH!*
And then it was quiet. Too quiet. I couldn't tell if the song I was hearing was off in the distance or just in my head. But sure enough, it was those guys walking away into sunset. Singing at the top of their voices.




That was a good day.

Howdy Hey

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