Food.

Today, instead of going to the Wheaton football game I decided to stay in the apartment and eat junk food. Kit-Kats have got to be my favorite thing ever. Jack's frozen pepperoni pizzas come in at a close second. But if we're talking in ORDER that they are eaten, then it's Kit-Kats that come in second. You can't eat a candy bar and then wolf down a whole pizza. Chocolate is a dessert, not an appetizer. An ideal meal for me would start with a couple of Slim Jim Mild Beef Jerky snacks washed down with some nice smooth Minute Maid Lemonade. That really gets my appetite roaring. I then preheat the oven to 425 degrees and throw in a Jacks Pizza. While I'm waiting for the pizza to cook I might have a couple of handfulls of Cool Ranch Doritos. But the pizza only takes about 10 minutes to cook, so it's a very manageable wait. Once the pizza is cut I let it cool for a minute or two and check the fridge to see what I'll have to drink. Milk is pretty good, but I prefer Mug Root Beer. But really, anything'll do. Except water. Ugh, don't drink water with ANY meal. That's just wrong. Anyway, in order to eat the entire pizza I have to pace myself. Once it gets down to three pieces left I take a 5 minute break to let my stomach catch up with me. Some people might say that instead of taking a break I should just stop entirely and put the remaining pieces in the fridge for the next day. And to THAT I say, "For sooth!". DO I LOOK LIKE THE TYPE OF GUY THAT EATS PIZZA THAT'S BEEN IN THE FRIDGE ALL NIGHT? Pizza is to be eaten fresh! Well, I don't know how "fresh" Jacks Frozen Pizzas are, but still. You gotta draw the line somewhere. Where was I? I don't even know. All I'm really trying to say here is that Kit-Kats are good. Nothing else I've written matters. At all.